night blues creeps into a lonely soul
sorrows drown in lonesome thoughts
light befalling on a single shadow, thoughts flood in
dread the nights, a loner would say
orange gleams shower upon a figure, alone it stand, alone
gaze upon the star, wishing for someone by me, to share the talks, but im all alone
a someone stands out there, waiting aimlessly for another to come by
everyone gets a support, and im looking for mine, to no avail
WHERE'S MY SUPPORT?!
UPDATE ME!

-yingen courtesy of andreadreadreadreadreadrea-

In that place between wakefulness and dreams,
I found myself in the room.

There were no distinguishing features, save for the one wall covered with small index card files.
They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order.
But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction,
had very different headings.
As I drew near the wall of files,
the first to catch my attention was one that read "People I Have Liked".
I opened it and began flipping through the cards.
I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.
This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life.
Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small,
in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror,
stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content.
Some brought joy and sweet memories;
others a sense of shame and regret,
so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.
A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed."

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird.
"Books I Have Read", "Lies I Have Told", "Comfort I Have Given", "Jokes I Have Laughed At".
Some were almost hilarious in their exactness:
"Things I've Yelled at My Brothers."
Others I couldn't laugh at:
"Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents".
I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.
Often there were many more cards than I expected.
Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived.
Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years,
to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards?
But each card confirmed this truth.
Each was written in my own handwriting.
Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To",
I realized the files grew to contain their contents.
The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file.
I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music,
but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts", I felt a chill run through my body.
I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card.
I shuddered at its detailed content.
I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me.

One thought dominated my mind:
"No one must ever see these cards!
No one must ever see this room!
I have to destroy them!"

In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out.
Its size didn't matter now.
I had to empty it and burn the cards.
But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card.
I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.
Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.
And then I saw it.
The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With".
The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused.
I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands.
I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came.
I began to weep.

Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me.
I fell on my knees and cried.
I cried out of shame, from the overwheming shame of it all.
The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes.

No one must ever, ever know of this room.
I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him.
Not here!
Oh, anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards.
I couldn't bear to watch His response.
And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.
He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes.
Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room.
He looked at me with pity in His eyes.
But this was a pity that didn't anger me.
I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again.
He walked over and put His arm around me.
He could have said so many things.
But He didn't say a word.
He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files.
Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one,
began to sign His name over mine on each card.

"No!" I shouted rushing to Him.
All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him.

His name shouldn't be on these cards.
But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive.
The name of Jesus covered mine.
It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back.
He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards.
I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly,
but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.
He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room.
There was no lock on its door.
There were still cards to be written.

-yingen impersonating rachel-

WHEEE! I AM HERE TO UPDATE! dont worry bloggy, if no one updates you, yingen will! HAHAHA!

Anyway, 1 more week left to the end of this year. almost a year has passed! Imagine, we've known each other for almost a year, but it seems like only yesterday when we were in bonding camp together. Time passed so fast! exams over, results back.. next year sec 4 alr. where got fast. then prelims, 'o's.. chiam. =( My point is, we only have 1 year left together before we graduate (HOPEFULLY.) and i hope that we can actually bond together as a class =)

ok anyway, chalet on the month of nov, you'll want first week (2-4 nov) or 3rd week (20sth)? most probably at downtown east.

monday's food fair! everyone jiayou! oh and i realise that the corny people havent exactly done anything yet, have you'll? lol.

currently at downtown east's website. OHHH BARNEY IS PERFORMING THERE! WOOTTT! anyone wanna treat me go? haha. okok nevermind.

Rates:

November Holiday Weekday Special @ Costa Sands Resort (Downtown East)
3D/2N @ S$168nett

@ Costa Sands Resort (Downtown East)

Valid from 7 to 30 Nov 2005

**Package includes 2 Adult Wild Wild Wet Tickets and 2 Adult Escape Theme Park Tickets

therefore this is only available for the 3rd week. is that ex? but i'm not sure if there's extra discount for NTUC club members.

November Holiday Weekday Special @ Costa Sands Resort (Pasir Ris)

3D/2N @ $138nett (no frills)


@ Costa Sands Resort (Pasir Ris)


Valid from 7 to 30 Nov 2005


30 bucks cheaper if at costa sands pasir ris, but what they mean by 'no frills'? not sure if costa sands pasir ris is good though..

I suppose that's about it. errr anyone wanna check it out can go to their website.

P.S: my com's ok again! YAY!

-caho =)

whee!
nobody updates me!
i feel very left out; alone!
like a small flower in the midst of a big field
around me all grass; none of my kind!
waiting to be trampled upon
wishing to be given new life!
UPDATE ME!
please?

-an overly high yingen xD-

1 John 5:12 - He who has the Son has life; he who has not the Son of God has not life.

once there was a beggar who hanged around the park
everyday, a young boy would go to the park and talk to the beggar
they'd talk about everything under the sun
the beggar found out the the boy was actually the son of a rich man
a rich man who collected paintings of famous artists

their friendship grew day by day
one day, the beggar decided to paint a portrait of the boy
however, after a few days, the boy stopped visiting the beggar
being curious, the beggar went to the boy's mansionate

the boy's father said that the boy had passed away several days back
in an act of respect, the beggar presented the father with the son's portrait
although the painting wasn't exactly well done, the father took it anyway

a few months later, the father passed away too
an auction was held to auction off the father's collection of paintings
on the father's request before his death, the painting entitled 'The Son' was auctioned off first
due to the poor drawing, there were no bidders for the painting
just then, the beggar came by
upon seeing his painting up for grabs, he offered five dollars
since that no one was interested in that painting, sold for five dollars it was

just when the bidders were awaiting for the next item to be auctioned, the auctioner announced,
'the person who bought 'The Son' shall have possession of all the paintings'

HEY MY DEAR PEEPS!
WE HAF ONLI 1 MORE PAPER TO GO!
EVERYONE JIAYOU OKIE!
YAYY!
DEN AFTER DAT WE CAN PLAY PLAY PLAY!
WOOTS!
EEEKS I'M EXCITED!
HAHAHA!
SO EVERYONE!
JIAYOU!
ADD OIL!
YAYY!
ROCK ON 3C!


LOVE YA ALL PEEPS =)



-jackie

HEY PEEPS!
JIAYOU FOR EOYs!
7 MORE PAPERS!
8 MORE DAYS!
YAY!



PS:SORRY FOR USING THAT SPASTIC TONE.


-JACKIE

is there something STILL wrong with blogger or is it my com??

Anyway, all the pon-ners, dont oversleep! must be like me, wake up at 9+! (actually it's because the phone rang =X) wake up early and go mug, cup, plate! to everyone, take care of your health and dont start sniffling! (when you do dont blame me for spreading the germs--blame your.. err.. weak immune systems!)

9 days more then we can go siao! WOOT! think positive.. haha.

counting down to 14/10..

-caho